The Mad Adventures of Chris and Angelo Part 3


For the love of DNA

“Lilly!  Flip the switch!” I called to my assistant.

“Why don’t you get your boyfriend to do it?” I heard her mutter from behind me.

“He is not my boyfriend,” I ground out through clenched teeth.  “Besides, you are my assistant.”

She said something rather unlady like, and I heard the flipping of the switch.  That was followed by the arcing of the electrical current from the transporter to the table on which my creation was currently lying.

I blinked away the spots left by the extremely bright light, and found myself nose to nose with an adorable little dik dik.

“It’s alive!” I screamed triumphantly.  I grabbed the tiny little antelope and cuddled it, careful to not harm its butterfly wings.  It licked my chin and I nearly went into a cute coma.

I looked at Angelo and grinned.

He grinned back at me.  “It really is cute,” he said, scratching the dik dik’s head.

“Of course!  That’s really the only way to go. Seriously, all you men think world domination needs to be accomplished through big guns, robots, hideous mutants, and nuclear weapons capable of leveling the planet.  But no one has ever tried to do it through cute little animals!  All my Cuddlies are poisonous, but they’ll only inject you with a lethal dose if you don’t find them extremely adorable.  My plan is to put one of these Cuddlies in every household.”

“How is that suppose to achieve world domination?”

“Do you think this cute little baby is just a bundle of adorableness?  Hell no!  This thing is highly intelligent.  It works for me!  This cuddly little sweetheart has one purpose in life:  use its major cuteness to suppress any opposition.  I’m gonna create some dolls to be my police force.  I’d use some Cuddlies, but they can get shot and die.  Dolls can’t.”

“I stand corrected.  May I say only a woman could come up with something like that?”

I looked at Angelo for a moment, trying to determine if that was a compliment.  He always said stuff like that.  He kept me guessing.  Although I hated not knowing all the facts, sometimes the doubts were a nice change of pace.

He’d been here for six months now.  I still said he was my prisoner, but it was now just a word.  Maybe the elf was more of a friend.  I didn’t see him as competition any more, at least.

“You can say anything you’d like,” I said, setting down the dik dik.

“Very true, Chris, but that doesn’t mean I will.”

“Don’t know why you wouldn’t.”

That’s when Lilly yanked on my hair.

“Ow!  What was that for?!”

The violet sprite hovered in front of my face.  She was glaring at me.  “We need a girl talk.  Now.”

“Umm, okay,” I mumbled and followed her to the other side of my lab.  Angelo may be a friend, but I wasn’t about to leave him alone in this place.

“Boss, I know you’re a genius, but are you that socially inept?!”

“I don’t understand.”

“Obviously!  The elf is being a typical male.  Haven’t you wondered why he’s always complimenting you?  He’ll wine you and dine you, and you’ll be on your back before you can say ‘deoxyribonucleic acid’.  I thought you learned after the Jake fiasco.”

Jake.  I hated Jake.  That bastard.

“Angelo is different,” I said, crossing my arms.

“How so?”

He isn’t trying to ‘save the werehorse population’.”  Jake seemed to think that since I had child-bearing hips, I had to bear many children.  Ha!

Lilly glanced at Angelo before looking back at me.  “Point taken.  Maybe he’s trying to save the elf population.”

“Then he’d be trying to screw an elf-ette, not a filly.”

She gasped and grabbed my hair.  “He’s trying to make a werepony elf!”

“And what, pray tell, would be the purpose of that?”

“Because he’s crazy?!  How do you know?  You’re not a telepath.”

“I can be.”  I stepped back so she would let go of my hair, and I pranced back to the elf.  “Angelo, darling, would you do me a favor?”

“Sure,” he said hesitantly.

“Excellent!” I said, clapping my hands together.  Then I moved to the shelves, looking for the box.  “So I started working on this after you tried to escape.  All the simulations worked well, and now, I just need to take it for a test run.  To see if there are any other bugs.  Where is that damn box!”

“It’s on the counter, boss.”

I looked over my shoulder at the counter.  Yup, there was the box.  “Lilly, what would I do without you?”

“Probably die a horrible painful death.”

“Probably.”  I skipped to the counter, grabbed the box, and headed towards the stairs.  “Come on.  We have to go outside.”


Angelo already had the silver circlet around his head.  It made him look like an elven prince.  An elven prince who wore a lab coat, band shirt, jeans, and sneakers.

I slipped out of my clothes, keeping an eye on him to make sure he kept his off me.

The shift to horse was . . . interesting.  My arms and legs lengthened, and my hands and feet fused and hardened, becoming hooves.  My face elongated, my nose seeming to be pulled by an invisible force before flattening to become flush with the rest of my horsie face.  The tiny silver hairs on my skin thickened and got coarser as it moved to cover my entire body.  My ribs would jerk into place to accommodate my new size, and my organs would follow a moment after.  The scariest part of all this was what happened with my heart.  It had to stop while its size adjusted, and I was always terrified it wouldn’t start up again.  But it started again, and I gave a silent prayer to whatever god was watching over me.

Then I gently pushed against Angelo’s shoulder to let him know he could look.

When he glanced at me, he looked a little sick.  “It’s . . . odd to hear your body . . .” He seemed to be struggling for a word.  “Shifting?”

I tossed my head in a nod.  Then I nosed his hand that held the other circlet.

“Oh, right,” he mumbled and placed it on my head.  We both jerked at the electrical shock as it completed its circuit.

Testing? I thought.

“Okay, that was weird.”

Did it work?

“If by that you mean I can hear you in my head, then yes, it worked.”

I trotted in a little circle, thrilled that it worked.  And I heard his thoughts say I was being adorable.  Heehee.

“Why are you laughing?” he asked, puzzled.

Lilly thinks you’re tying to get into my pants to create a werepony elf.

“What would be the point of that?  I want to get into your pants because you’re beautiful.”

I am?

“Yes.  And pretty amazing.  Besides, aren’t mad scientists allowed to romp with no strings attached?”


When I walked into the kitchen the next morning, Lilly gave me a critical look.

“Why do you look happy?  You’re not a morning person.”

I smiled and said, “I failed.”

She just looked at me confused.

So I clarified.  “I was unable to say ‘deoxyribonucleic acid’ before he had me on my back.  But in my defense, he was kissing me.”  I paused.  For dramatic effect, of course.  “And screaming it would have been awkward.”

The End.  For now.

  1. Jenn
    March 1, 2010 at 7:15 pm

    NOOOOOOO!!!! Today I found your other site & have all of the BeatleJuice storys all at once…and there is no final chapter! Wahhhhhhhhh. Can you tell I’ve really enjoyed it? Kylie, when is it going to be done? Huh huh huh? I NEED to know!

    Thanks for the great read. Actually I’ve really enjoyed all your stories so far….

    I’m on my toes, waiting…

    • Kylie Ru
      March 1, 2010 at 11:42 pm

      Today I finished Stars. Still working on Together Forever. Damn writer’s block.

      • Jenn
        March 2, 2010 at 10:00 am

        woohoo!!!! is it up yet? I’ll to take a look….i’m so excited….

      • Kylie Ru
        March 2, 2010 at 2:44 pm

        yup, it’s up. As is the beginning of the next one.

  2. Jenn
    March 1, 2010 at 10:52 am

    Oh Kylie, that was hystarical….I love Lilly….she is such a straight man…congrats….but of course, I want to know what happens to your 2 mad scientists…do they decide to take over the world together? Do they have a elf/were pony baby? Curious minds want to know! Oh yes, the dik dik is adorable, made me think of Shrek with the donkey/dragon babies!

    • Kylie Ru
      March 1, 2010 at 11:42 pm

      Oh, you’ll find out eventually. I’m going to try to do an actual “novel” with these two.

      • Kylie Ru
        March 2, 2010 at 2:45 pm

        That would be awesomesauce!

    • Kylie Ru
      March 1, 2010 at 11:43 pm

      Oh, and thank you, thank you!

      • Jenn
        March 2, 2010 at 9:59 am

        Well if you do & you want someone to look at it before you send it to a putblisher, I’d be happy to…I’m not perfect, but I did major in English in univeristy…i’d let you know whatever I find for you to review…

      • Kylie Ru
        March 2, 2010 at 2:45 pm

        ummmmm . . . I hit the wrong reply button.

  3. Phil
    February 25, 2010 at 9:31 pm

    A mad lady scientist with a clever, nefarious plot to dominate the world. What man wouldn’t melt for her! Nicely done, Kylie-chan! Best of luck on that novel!

  4. February 24, 2010 at 9:01 pm

    I really love these characters Kylie! I think I identify with your absentminded mad scientist.

    • Kylie Ru
      February 24, 2010 at 9:11 pm

      i love these characters, too. That’s why I want to do an honest novel with them! And Chris was really easy to write for. I think she’s always kinda been in there with me.

  5. February 23, 2010 at 4:14 pm

    Hahaha – world domination through cute cuddly dik diks that poisons you if you don’t think they are cute!! That’s the funniest plan for world domination I’ve ever heard 😉

    I love that the conflict of trust between these two was over wherether he was only interested in getting in her pants to create some crazy mutant with her DNA. That is, like Antonio said, completely unique… and really funny.

    Wait! You can’t end it yet! Can I request a scene where the carnivorous butterflies get unleashed on mutant turkey sandwhiches or some other weird creation?!? 😉

    • Kylie Ru
      February 23, 2010 at 4:21 pm

      For you, yes, but I don’t think it’ll be a NaSty. Actually, I want to write an honest story with these two! But The Mad Adventures of Chris and Angelo will forever be my NaStyRoMo series. Give me a year to come up with some crazy ideas.

  6. Antonio Rich
    February 23, 2010 at 10:48 am

    “deoxyribonucleic acid!”

    I thought you did a good job on the shift–silver hairs growing coarse, and the bit about the heart stopping.

    “Lilly thinks you’re trying to get into my pants to create a werepony,” is singularly unique! Awesomesauce! Dik Dik… 😉

    • Kylie Ru
      February 23, 2010 at 11:06 am

      Weeee! Thank you, Antonio-kun! *glomp*

  7. February 23, 2010 at 1:48 am

    *laughs* I’;m the first one to comment!! That’s a first.

    The end for now. Ga. I really hope that this is not the last what i’ll read of you, lol. I have to go and wander to your fan fiction page. But, i dno’t know beetlejuice… i can always read about it, lol. 🙂
    Thank you for this Kylie! It’s been a great read.

    • Kylie Ru
      February 23, 2010 at 9:30 am

      😀 Thank you, thank you! The Fears Saga you can read up to Second Chance. The movie is kinda important in that one. You can read Music Boxes since that’s about two of my OCs, and Stars. And you can read Strawberries and Vanilla.

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